First let me say that this can be a hard road for many for those going through it and the loved one's being there along the way.Perhaps the hardest part for me has been feeling overwhelmed that there seemed to be one issue after another. To the point that I was hesitant to call my Dr with a new issue. I didn't want to be seen as a hypochondriac.
So Let's start at the beginning shall we? After my daughter was born I had to have an embelica hernia repair. Standard procedure something that can happen after pregnancy. I had the cutest little button on my belly when I was pregnant though. But then it started to hurt cue getting it fixed 6 months post c-section.
After my son was born my quality of life drastically altered. Pregnancy brings on many aches and pains, many will nod when I say sciatica is a pain many feel in their rears while pregnant ;) Which is what I felt with my son. But the pain while I slept didn't change after I had him, in fact 3 months after having him my legs would start to feel really sore by the close of the day. After a week of it constantly doing this my Dr and I thought an MRI was necessary to rule out something wrong with my Piriformis muscle. To both of our surprise the issue was more than that, I had a herniated disk in my L4 that was causing Spinal Stenosis. In a matter of 2 months post diagnosis I could no longer walk due to the nerve pain. I'll save you the long story about those 2 months just know there was a lot of pain and a little 4 month old baby boy that I couldn't hold and in the end could only lay next to for quality time. I became an observer of my kids and families life. Surgery was required to alleviate the pain.
Fast forward to this year I've been plagued with Dizzy Spells that made me feel drunk and so out of it. I had a similar spell that landed me in the hospital for Dominic that showed nothing. At the time they did an MRA to rule out blood flow issues. So a month ago I went to get yet another MRI as Vestibular Migraines just weren't adding up. Oh and did I mention my embellica Hernia surgery from when my daughter was born will likely need to be revised?
Even typing all of this I feel the need to explains if I'm trying to get a head of the judgement. Yes I know it's one thing after another, yes I realize it's shitty but here's the thing it's all TIED TOGETHER. Believe me when I say I feel so much guilt that I've needed this much TLC since my first hernia surgery. I love my husband dearly for all that he does without complaint but I still feel immense guilt.
My Brain MRI ended with my doctor calling me to let me know I had Chiari Malformation and here I am.
How am I feeling right now? I don't know that it's sunk in but I know just like anything else in life we'll fight it and overcome. I will try not to let this define me it'll just be a part of who I am but not all of who I am if that makes sense. Now I may look back on this later in life and shake my head at this naive statement. But for now I have to hope that we'll find our footing and figure this out with heads held high and a fighting spirit.
I also already find myself shying away from telling friends everything. I'm dreading the comments I'm going to get about the insinuation of another procedure or another thing that's wrong with me. I don't like having all these issues, trust me. But I can't help it and believe me it's 10x's more frustrating to deal with then to hear about it all the time.
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