Lessons in Parenting - Comparing to other Babies - TLC Mom

Monday, May 12, 2014

Lessons in Parenting - Comparing to other Babies

I know I can’t be the only mother guilty of this.

Baby milestone comparison.

Gets me every time. When Anastasia seems a head of the game I admittedly kind of puff up like a proud peacock. We all like to think our children are geniuses, maybe not the next Albert Einstein but that they’re advanced. I don’t know why parenting does this to us. When she isn’t reaching a milestone when others are I get worried something is wrong, or that I’m not doing something right to help her in reaching the milestones.

 We are beyond excited when our children are ahead of the game, and worry like the dickens if they aren’t reaching milestones other babies are.

 I’m so so guilty of this it isn’t even funny. There are times I almost feel guilty for feeling that way as I hope I never project that ‘impatient’ nature onto my daughter of wanting her to reach goals.

Some milestones just come, others you do have to work with them on. I do find it’s more of a pouty lip moment when progress still isn’t made after working with them.

With Anastasia my biggest milestone comparison was neck control. A few of her baby friends had amazing neck control where they were able to sit in a seat with back support and not need any kind of neck support. The other right now has been rolling over. She’s so flippen close and I’m convinced it would have been 2 weeks ago that she mastered it but whenever she starts going from back to belly, her bottom arm just stops her. It’s so adorable to see. When she has gone back to belly I just light up so much. But it’s not to a consistent point. She’s getting there though.

It’s truly a hard lesson to learn as a parent. That there’s nothing wrong with our child and we need to chill a bit in the expectation department. Just because Joey and Sally Sue is around the same age and does things my daughter doesn’t, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong. Often at times I forget to realize she does things they can’t. This is a topic on parenting I never really realized would be such a tough mental hurdle for me to overcome. One day at a time I suppose.
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2 comments:

  1. It is kind of how I feel about Forrest's talking. I see other babies, much younger than Forrest, talking, and saying more words verbally than Forrest does. Then I remind myself that Forrest is uniquely Forrest, and he will catch up when he is ready. :) Also, other issue that kind of gets to me is transitioning to the toddler bed. I'm nowhere ready to transition Forrest to a toddler bed, mainly because he has no interest, and desire to get out of his crib, and I leave him be with that topic yet some parents do judge me for that. I'm not sure if that is "comparing my kid to other kids" more than "oh my kid is already doing this so why isn't yours too?" So I get it.

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    1. Completely get you, Ashley!

      I think for me a lot of my insecurities with her milestones is I translate it to mean I'm not doing the best I can do as her mother. Certainly not that she's personally lagging but that it's a reflection of me as a mom. Silly the notions we put in our heads really. It's so easy to be subjective about these topics until we're in the thick of it ourselves. Perhaps the biggest lesson of all that I've learned as a parent is judging certain things a child/parent does. It's easy to say how I'd like to do it or if we didn't struggle with that particular decision/our child didn't then we perceive it to be easy for others. So not the case and like I said earlier some kids excelled at one thing and need some work on another. I'm sorry you've been judged for your sons sleeping situation. If it makes you feel better I always thought 3 was generally when children switched. My best friends son just switched 2 months ago and he's 2 1/2. I didn't see anything out of the norm with it, so certainly no judgement here!

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