Things I've learned since becoming a mother.

It's scary and full of unknowns: The first day(well night) they put my daughter in my arms and she nestled in as she breast fed. It was euphoric. She was here after all those years, all those tears our little angel was here. Then the fear set in. Now I had to provide for this little being keep her safe from the many dangers that awaited her.

The first week I was terrified of the night. I know it sounds dumb but I was. I'd waking up worrying if she was still breathing. I feared the night because I feared what could happen to her while I wasn't able to watch her. I feared SID's and read / heard far to many horror stories that if I could have legitimately put my daughter in a bubble for those first 6 to 8 months I would have.

It's Rewarding- Never once have I felt resentment or overwhelmed by this little girl. Yes motherhood is hectic but all of it, every single little headache and sleepless night is worth it. Her smile and little newborn giggle just melted my heart. Now that she's a 2 year old her maturity and growth astounds me. She has so much personality and certainly asserts herself when she wants something. She presents as a true leader and goes to her own tune. Very outgoing and isn't shy with new people. She will welcome them with wide open arms "Come on in".

The things they didn't mention - More often then not you'll become that first time mom. Worrying about her/him when they get sick. Going in with a slight fever because you don't know what to do. It's new and it's a new journey you still haven't learned the ropes to yet. There's a reason why there are umpteen books out there on different theory's and methodologies on how to raise a child. That's because parenting, choices and raising a child is different for everyone for both the parents and the child.

Be aware of your emotions please. All to often PPD is spoken about but PPA is rarely if ever discussed. I didn't know that my anxiety around SIDS and the degree the anxiety overtook me was apart of PPA. My husband and I were on the look out for baby blues but we weren't looking out for PPA signs because we didn't even know it was a thing. I just thought it was normal to have such a paralyzing fear keep me up at night, make me cry and as I said earlier fear the night. If something doesn't feel right please don't chalk it up to this must be normal. It never hurts to just go over things with your doctor.

It's okay to second guess it's okay to be scared and ask for advice. I can't tell you how many times I've approached her daycare provider to ask her for tips on how to do something. There is little humility in saying hey I need help and I know you know the ropes better than I do. Parenting is a huge commitment, it brings so many challenges, rewarding moments and unsure territory. Just when you think you have it all figured out things change and that's okay.

As scary as it can be at times especially with the way our world is today, take a moment to breath it in, take a moment to reward everything you've done, your partner has done for your family. Enjoy it because it goes by so fast.